"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Mst people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."
(Meredith Grey, "Grey's Anatomy")
Since I was just a little girl, I love fairytales (don't we all?) I love the fact that the princesses are pretty, there are fairies involved, cute creatures who can sing and dance (and do house chores with you!) and of course, the handsome prince charmings. Most of the time, the story tells you about two different person from two different worlds who overcome the evil witch/the stepmother to be with each other. The bottom line: love conquers all. Ah, such a pretty picture hey?
I used to have this 'faith' or 'picture' that I'm going to get my own happy ending. Y'know.. that 'and they lived happily ever after' part. But I guess that a child-like faith - that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Once you're married - that's it. You ARE going to lived happily ever after and whatnot. Everything will be peaches and cream. It's heaven on earth. You name it.
Here's the thing... Fairytale stories always end when the prince finally married the girl of his dreams, he will swept her away on his white horse, riding off to the sunset. And then the famous line will appear 'and they lived happily ever after'. But what happens after that? A friend of mine asked the same question this afternoon - "Are there mortgages in fairytales?" "what happens next??? did Prince Charming and Cinderella argued on who has to take the trash out this week?" "Did Sleeping Beauty get mad to Prince Phillip because he snored in his sleep?" and so on and so forth.
You know the real story of The Little Mermaid? It's not the one that Disney created where Ariel finally married Prince Eric. The real mermaid died and turned into a foam in the sea because of her unrequited love to the Prince who married the Princess from another kingdom. He never knew that the mermaid loves him.
I came across that quote above from Grey's Anatomy movie and I can't help myself to ponder... I remember how I woke up one day, opened my eyes and the fairytale faded away. I remember how awful that felt - it's like this dream was ripped out of you, that you have to throw that dream unwillingly. You came across unrequited love, betrayal, broken-heartness, unfaithfulness, lies and so many things that disappointed you. Sadly, I have to throw that belief far far away. Love is never going to be enough.
We are all like that in a way, I suppose. As we grow older, we experienced things. Things that sometimes we want to forget - but it's a part of you anyway so you can't. We complicate things and over analyzed without us even realizing. Suddenly the truth hits us, there is NO happily ever after in this oh-so-cruel-cruel world. Relationship and most importantly, marriage, needs hard work - I know this not because I have been married before... but because of my parents' marriage.
I can't go on into details at this moment - so let's just say that my family is not perfect. We had lots of ups and downs - and my sister and I were somehow 'forced' to grow up even before we need to. My happiest moments were those ones I couldn't recall anymore since it was such a long long time ago. At one point in time - I have almost swore myself off men. Even my sister used to say that she didn't want to get married since it seems so hard (knock on wood!!!!).
I learned along the way that there's no such thing as a perfect family. Everyone I know, has family issues. Some are not-so-complicated, some are wayyyyy more complicated. Then you kind of feel relieved that you're not the odd one out. I used to not want to talk about it - but as you find people who endures the same thing as you, the words just poured out - and it makes me feel so much better.
My mum told me to 'marry the one who loves you more than you love him, that way you won't end up getting hurt'. I rejected her opinion - saying that it's not fair for the other party since it's kind of like a one-sided thing. But then my friends told me that their mothers taught them the same thing... No fairytale is like that, isn't it? The love between Prince Charming and Cinderella are perfect... did that love 'died' along the way? We have no idea. Or maybe it's true, when we are loved, more than we love them, it won't hurt us?
However, doesn't matter how cynical we are. We still have that hope (even if it's just tiny) that when you least expected it - your fairytale will come true. I know I do. No matter how messy life gets - no matter how hurt I was (and still is, I think - or maybe I'm just getting used to it?) I have hope, that someday I will open up my eyes and my fairytale would come true. It's like Charlotte York in SATC... the real optimist who always believe in love - even when she thought she lost it.
Pardon my rant for today. I know I'm going out of tangents here and there, but it's just something that I need to 'let out' :) Ah... I miss those simpler days. But for what it's worth, I learned my lesson and won't lose my faith. I hope it goes the same to you and we all could have our happily-ever-afters one day.
Over and out.
1 thoughts:
Well written article.
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