Soul Searching

Mood: nostalgic

Listening to: Lingua - Bila Ku Ingat

As you might have noticed on my sidebar to your right - I've been reading a book by Eric & Leslie Lundy titled "When God Writes Your Love Story". I haven't finished the book yet (half way through! I'm planning to finish it by this weekend) but this book has made me think about stuff that I don't actually want to think about (or I deny to think about?).

Everyone needs someone. A soulmate, as they call that certain person. They even have an entry in the Dictionary. According to them, a soulmate is a person with whom one has a strong affinity/attraction. The origin of this 'soulmate' concept was not clear, but I found as I typed the word 'soulmate' in Wikipedia one of the theory of soulmate was from Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium is that that humans originally were combined of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spending their lives searching for the other half to complete them.

A bit freaky, isn't it? :P

One of the most popular questions that people asked me was "So, have you had a boyfriend yet?", "When are you getting married?", "So, who's the lucky guy?" - and so on and so forth. These questions especially came from my family in Indo. Well, to you guys who are not Asians - it's kind of uncommon for a young lady my age to not have a boyfriend or a fiancee or not planning a wedding (your own, that is). The fact is, almost all of my friends which have the same age (or similar) as mine had been married. And (maybe) it kills my family to see me not even having a boyfriend.

Ok, it's been seven years since I last had one (yeap, it was in highschool. and yes, I'm pathetic!) but I'd rather not rush it. Easy comes, easy goes - they say. Some people called me a 'perfectionist' and I'm too picky... but I think you can never be too careful about these kind of things, right? You don't want to spend the rest of your life with the wrong person and be miserable. Better safe than sorry.

I guess, I'm a bit traumatized by relationships. Most of the one that I had been in left me broken hearted and in tears, even looking at what my parents had been through made me a bit scared to trust that opposite sex. I think I'm cursed that way hahaha. Ironic, really. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying my time being single - exploring my capabilities, my skills, my personality, etc.

But yeah, finally - after years of 'single and fabulous' moments - I do feel a bit lonely, especially when most of the friends your age are married (or planning one), building houses together, went on to family dinners from both side of the family - it kind of singled you out even though they didn't mean to. Luckily, I have my friends here which, even though they are married or planning to get married soon, they didn't ruled you out of activities and we actually get along really really well (too well sometimes, haha).

Because of that book, I'm beginning to 'think' about it a lot... After all, I am turning 24 this year and it'd be nice to have someone in your life (apart from your family n friends) that you can count on. I am waiting on God's appointed time to actually meet the appointed one. Let God take your pen away from you, and write you a beautiful Love Story that would last forever...

Incompatible, it don't matter though

'cos someone's bound to hear my cry

Speak out if you do

You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable

Is already in my life?

Right in front of me

Or maybe you're in disguise?

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end

How do I find the perfect fit

There's enough for everyone

But I'm still waiting in line

(Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate)

xoxo

Soul Searching