March 31, 2008

I blame the rain.

My friends know that I am such a mellow person. Sensitive, emotional, moody, mellow... you name it. Maybe it's the Cancerian characteristics which have been bestowed upon me? But strangely enough, I haven't been mellow in quite a long time now. For months actually.

When I'm down or mellow or sad, I usually let myself cry for a second to let it all out - then I'll feel so much better. I haven't cried in ages as far as I remember. I have no idea why. It kinda feels that something inside 'prevents' me from crying - and then it feels as if your heart just skipped a beat and everything felt numb. Maybe I'm not sad enough or maybe it's the summer heat (and believe me, it's been real hot here!).

This morning is different. I woke up to find that it's cloudy and it's raining quite heavily outside. Autumn is here, I guess. The cold weather made me NOT want to go to work and stayed in bed the whole day, but a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do. So I got ready, grabbed my flimsy brolly and went to work.

The bus was packed today, but thank God, I managed to find a seat just near the window. My shoes are a bit wet, and so does my bag. School is on again, and so many students chatting and screaming in the bus which annoyed me. So I put on my iPod to cast away all those noise. For the whole journey, I just stared outside and watched the raindrops streamed down the window.

And I felt like crying my heart out that very instant. I don't know why. I don't know which one of these things in my heart and my head that makes me want to cry. It's too many.

What is it about the rain that makes me want to cry?
Or maybe it's the greyness of the sky?
Or is it the song I played in my iPod? but I have been listening to it over and over and over again and it never made me want to cry.
Or maybe that 'thing' I think I just realized recently and tried really hard to avoid?

Or maybe I'm just over-reacting...?


Whatever it is, forgive me if I'm not myself today (or maybe I'm just being myself...)


I blame it all on the rain.






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3 thoughts:

Anonymous said...

AHA!!!! What 'thing'???

-FF-

Oh for the love of food! said...

Hi Tazh, didn't know you're a Cancerian too - yup, we've got that emotional roller coaster thing going 24/7! Cheer up Girl! and I'm here anytime you wanna talk,ok? Love ya :o)

PangTama said...

Nice Layout!!!!
Buatin gw donkkkk *hahha, predictable!!*