♥ Mille Feuilles ♥: Happy Belated Everything!

he second Sunday of February was the one day that probably mostly everyone anticipated. On 14th February this year, both Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year are celebrated at the same time. I know, I know, this post is overdue by almost a week - but I've been busy and thanks to micro-blogging trends now (follow me @misstazh) I felt like I've already blogged. So, without further a do, 'Happy Belated Valenchine (Valentine & Chinese NY)' altogether, friends! I hope you get to spent it with your loved ones and made them feel special too!

Well, I couldn't say that I'm celebrating both festivities in a big way this year. With Chinese NY, my family never really followed the tradition since I was young anyway. Even though I'm a mix of Chinese - Indonesian, my big family never celebrated CNY like what other families would do. I guess, the Chinese tradition is never big on the family, especially since my grandparents from my mom's side of the family were more Dutch than Chinese. So yeah, I probably had a few red envelopes when I grew up, but it was never extravagant. I remembered the day after CNY in school, where all my friends would talk about how much they 'harvested' yesterday (and the numbers were quite high!) and also what they did with their big families on the day, I would just listened intently with wonderment on my facial expression.

Sure, at that time I was a bit jealous; after all, I was just a kid! I wish I knew how it felt to have lots and lots of red envelopes on CNY - but I don't. As I grew older ~~and none the wiser,~~ what I missed most in CNY is having to have gathered with my loved ones and having family dinners. Usually we had dinners at my parents' crib (because it's too expensive to dine outside on CNY - restaurants usually put high price tags and you have to have a special CNY menu set) and we would just relax and enjoy each other presence.

I think that's when I feel the happiest - being with my loved ones. That's why this year's Valentine's Day is a bit gloom for me because I was just overwhelmed by the feeling of not having my loved ones around me. No, I'm not talking about the one that comes in the shape of a boyfriend - I normally celebrates Valentine's Day with my single pals anyway - but I really miss my family this year. I guess I've been away from them too long now.

Home is where the heart is - and truly, that's where my heart resides. It's funny how after not going back home for holidays in two years, once I stepped inside the house I grew up in, I left a huge sigh of relief and thought to myself "I'm home...". My parents, lil sister and myself have a ritual before going to bed where we all cramped and huddled in my parents bed, joked around or talked about the day that we had. My dad usually took the ownership of the TV remote control, my sis and I would perform some slapstick comedy for them, my mom would nod herself to sleep even though she was watching her favorite show - and we would intentionally annoy her to wake up. That moment right there, is where I feel most loved.

My mom always said that she felt the happiest when she has her two daughters around and we both feel the same way as her. Nothing beats the feeling of being around people you love the most and who loved you the most. I know that my parents and my sister love me no matter what, and I love them come what may. Sure, we have our arguments, but which family doesn't? You're bound to have frictions in your relationships. The key is not to love them because of such and such, but to love them in spite of our failures and weakness. My mom is the true example of this.

She had her share of heartaches; a lot of them really. To cut the story short (or I'll be going on and on about it for pages) let's just say that my dad had been disloyal to her a few times since I was 11 years old (I think) - even thought she was hurting and angry, she always said to me and my sister that we are his children too and we should always give him the respect and love he deserves. After many trials, she always forgave him (to our dismay at that moment) because she felt such compassion towards him. Then, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, and I remembered crying and begging my dad on the phone to step up and be there when she needs him, for a change. I think I even threatened him a bit (to hate him for life if he ever left her again); I regretted saying those words to him since my emotion got the best of me. But he did step up. He never left my mom's side when she was in chemotherapy.

Today, I can truly said that their relationship is getting better and better. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw them last holiday. Sometimes they are so lovey dovey to each other, I secretly rolled my eyes. But seriously, I've never been happier and at peace with them. Sure, we all have things to work on to improve our family bond - but looking back at the past, I am truly grateful and thankful to God that our relationship improved greatly.

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

(1 Corinthians 13)

I'm taking a lesson from my favorite bible verse above, and from my mom, to love people in spite of. After all, love never fails. I really do believe that love is the center of everything. Jesus came down and died for us on the cross for love. Our parents gave birth to us because of love. Our dreams and passion comes from love. Faith and hope comes from love. We should celebrate love daily - not only on Valentine's Day.

As a ~~guilty token from not blogging on time~~ love token this month and as we celebrated love in all its glory, I've designed this wallpaper a while ago for my twitter background. I hope you like it :-) It's in 1024 x 768 resolution at the moment, but let me know if you want it in other resolutions that matches your screen :-)