The Beauty In Ugly

Just this year, I’ve been introduced to this TV series called ‘Ugly Betty’. It’s been around for a while (I think it’s up to Season 4 now?) and I have watched it on and off over the telly, but I just really got into it during my recent trip to Indo. Thanks to my baby sister who are totally addicted to this series.

Basically, it told us the life of a girl named Betty Suarez. The latina girl who aspires to be a great writer someday. She scored a job in a prestigious fashion magazine ‘MODE’ as the Assistant to the Editor in Chief, Daniel Meade from Meade Publications. Just one tiny problem: she doesn’t look like what a girl supposed to look like if they are working in such a high-end fashion magazine. Betty endured humiliations from her ‘narcississtic’ colleagues – due to her lack of colour coordination, her you-can’t-miss-it braces, her glasses, her hairstyle, her upbringing in Queens, and of course, her body shape which probably isn’t ideal in the ‘MODE Fashion World’.

Betty proved herself to be a strong-minded, smart, more-than-able young lady and earned respect from her colleagues (who didn’t really want to admit that they admired her) and from her boss. She became one of the key people in MODE, and one of the few people that Daniel Meade can totally trust. And she did all that by still dressing like only Betty Suarez can.

I enjoyed watching TV series like Gossip Girl or Sex And The City, where the girls are slim, gorgeous, with impeccable fashion sense (and unlimited budget), but ‘Ugly Betty’ is different. Betty isn’t ‘pretty’ by most people’s standard. She definitely needs a whole new wardrobe and a haircut. And she most definitely needs to get her braces off asap (been there, done that). In the series she didn’t go through a ‘makeover’ stage ala ‘She’s All That’ (or maybe not yet?) – however, her strong characters shine through and made people to see her beyond her outlook appearance.

I don’t know about you readers, but I can totally relate myself to Betty sometimes.

I have always been a plus size girl my whole life – no matter on how hard I tried to lose weight, I could never be skinny like most Asian girls you know. I’m big boned and thanks to my ‘4-days-a-week-swimming’ during my teens, I have really broad shoulders as well. My skin isn’t fair, I’m not tall, I have big feet and so on and so forth. I think the only thing that I truly like about myself physically is my hair *LOL*.

Anyway – I’ve had a hard time growing up as a lot of people ‘teased’ me about how I look (my weight, especially). I remembered my first boyfriend in Junior High (which I found later that he only dated me because he pitied me) broke up with me because I was, er, fat (again, found out from his friend). My parent pestered me constantly about how I look (sometimes more than 3 times a day). Don’t even get me started on the nicknames that people gave me. It didn’t really help my self-esteem when a member of my big family dated a girl who’s a model and that my auntie stated that ‘I should lose weight because in my age I supposed to look pretty’ in front of the model girl and the boys, who only smiled vaguely in discomfort. I seriously wanted to bury myself in a hole and never come out.

Look, I understand totally from my parents point-of-view that they just wanted to have beautiful daughters that they can ‘parade’ around (come on, everyone knew this). Believe me, I totally get it. Especially in the community I grew up in, most girls wear size 6 and 8 clothes. Sometimes I feel like such a disgrace because I don’t look like them. It hurts especially when even my family members kind of ‘teased’ me and told me that I should look like this girl and that girl. My mom at some point even ‘announced’ to every friends and family members that we met that I’m fat. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate them. I love my family to death. However, these things hurt, like, a lot.

This made me think: what’s the point of having brains if you don’t have beauty? Do people still cherish inner-beauty? What about winning people with your personality? Is this all that matter to people in my community? How shallow are we really?

Let’s set aside the people who are for obvious health reasons need to lose weight. I’m talking more about those girls who have curves. Funnily enough, people in Australia celebrates those women who are slightly bigger than average. They don’t discriminate or make fun of them, which I totally dig. We have clothes here for girls with curves, for heaven’s sake! I’m just a bit sad that my community can’t see that. No wonder some girls are addicted to plastic surgery (hello, Heidi Montag!) and aimed to make themselves look like Barbie dolls. Their community most probably didn’t embrace them for ‘who they are’.

Don’t get me wrong… by all means: lose weight and do make over. But remember this: do it for yourself. Don’t do it to get approval from others. You might lost weight and look great, but are you truly happy with yourself? You might strutted down the street like in a catwalk and donned the newest ‘it’ bag, but is that who you really are? Believe me, I tried – and I have never been so miserable in my whole life.

I admire those people who are able to look past the physical outlook and be truly content with themselves. To name a few famous people: America Ferrera (Betty Suarez herself), Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson, and Ricki Lee. They are big, bold and beautiful. Our role models should be those people who really are beautiful inside (and out) and not just for their looks.

I have to admit, sometimes I judged people by their looks as well, thanks to my upbringing. I kinda have this ‘evil’ on commenting on what people wear and whether it suits them or not (silently behind their backs of course) – I think I have an inner Perez Hilton or the GFY ladies in me. But I want to stop doing that. I admire their confidence and not caring about what other people think. Seriously, I salute them – I wish I have much of self-confidence in me. We have to love ourselves more, don’t you think? (not in a narcissistic way of course).

I promised myself this year that I will stop trying to live up to the world’s standard of being ‘beautiful’. After all, I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God – God thinks I’m perfect, so I should adopt that way of thinking as well and be content. If I’m losing weight – I want to do it for myself. Not for my parents, my aunties, my other family member, not to prove that I can be as beautiful as that model girl, and to make sure that I am truly truly happy. I want to be Betty Suarez, whose personality shine beyond what other people think of how she looks. To be free of that bondage of worldly possessions and outlook is my goal for 2010~!

Let me leave you with this video clip of Jason Mraz’s song ‘The Beauty in Ugly’. It’s one of the soundtracks for ‘Ugly Betty’ – I think we all should really listen to the words and apply it to ourselves, and make all the fashion statements just by dressing up our minds. Have you heard - positive thinking is so hot right now :-)

The Beauty in Ugly - Jason Mraz

She's so big hearted,

But not so remarkable

Just an ordinary humble girl

Expecting nothing as we're made to think

It's a pretty person's world

But you are beautiful and you better go show it

Go look again, you gotta be true to your own

If you really wanna go to the top

Do you really wanna win?

Don't believe in living normal, just to satisfy demand

Well if you wanna get free

And if you wanna do the passionate thing

And if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart

You should own your name and stand up tall

And get real and see the beauty in ugly

Well you are fresh, you're face is fabulous

Don't forget you're one of a kind

When nobody is checking the deeds you've done

And nobody is hearing your cries

You make all of the fashion statements

Just by dressing up your mind

Well if you wanna get free

And if you wanna do the passionate thing

And if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart

You should own your name and stand up tall

And get real and see the beauty in ugly

And see the beauty in ulgy

Well if you wanna get free

And if you wanna do the passionate thing

And if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart and oh

You should own your name and stand up tall

And get real and see the beauty in ugly

See the beauty in a ugly

Keep being beautiful, my friends :-)

The Beauty In Ugly