Most of people who knows me in real life know for a fact that I spent most of my days in front of my computer. I remembered during my college years I've been dubbed by a few friends as the 'Queen of MSN' since I'm always online 24/7 (well, still until today thanks to a piece of technology called Blackberry even though I don't chat as much anymore).
I really enjoyed browsing through the internet. Mostly browsing through Facebook (don't we all?), Twitter-ing, iTunes store, Apple Store, Deviantart (for cool and unique desktop wallpapers - highly recommended) and random sites which I found interesting. I probably spend a good 4 hours in front of my macbook everyday (apart from office hours of course).
You see, my 'workstation' at home is a coffee table. It stands probably 40 cm in height, so I used a cushion as a 'chair' and slouch in front of my macbook. This has been going on for YEARS. Everyone knows that this isn't a good idea, especially for your posture. Thanks to my ignorant-self, I finally feel the result of too much slouching. Guess what, I'm still slouching now as I type this entry!
I have been having back pains now and then, and I've always been able to ignore it. Usually the pain stays for a few days, and then it was 'back to normal' (or so I thought). But my back pain took its toll last week, when I've been asked to help with archiving 28 boxes worth of documents in my office. I literally sat on the carpet for about 3 days; compiling, selecting, recording and what-nots; and also lifting up heavy boxes full of documents. All these I did while slouching.
I have never feel that much pain on my lower back before the 28 boxes happened. I felt like I pulled a muscle. My shoulders are very tense, my neck is really tight too. Also, I feel like my feet are dead, due to many hours sitting on the carpet. Not to mention, I feel my bottom slept for 3 whole days. The fact that I'm a side-sleeper doesn't help also, it actually made the pain worse. So today, I finally went to the chiropractor to get it checked out.
This is my first visit to the chiropractor. My little sister said that the word 'chiropractor' sounded like a dinosaur species (to think of it, it kinda does sound like 'velociraptor'). The doctor was really friendly and attentive. He examined my backbone and then he asked me whether I have ever been to a chiropractor before. I shook my head, and then he let a sigh and said "You've got back pains for years, young lady. You just chose to ignore it, didn't you?". Guilty as charged.
He explained to me on why he came to that conclusion. He poked around my shoulder, my neck and my lower back. And truly enough, every spot he poked feel sore. He asked me whether I want him to help me fix this problem. However he mentioned that this won't work like magic, where you can be fixed by just one visit. I have to do an x-ray for him, and then come back twice a week for a few months to get my back sorted out.
And then he said this "But, I can only help you by teaching you how to fix it. YOU have to be the one who fix it. Basically, your whole posture contributes to your back pain. How you do things, exercise you took, how you stand and sit, how you sleep, in short: you have to change everything on the way you do things." I told him on how I have a coffee table for years as my 'workstation'. He laughed and said "Well, that's it. You have to have a proper workstation. If you keep doing the same things you are doing now, guess what, you'll be having the same results."
As soon as he said that, I remembered a famous quote by Albert Einstein:
If Thomas Alva Edison didn't try 10000 different ways on creating light bulbs, we might still rely on candles to provide lights for us. As he famously said about all his experiments in creating the light bulbs: I haven't fail. I've just found 10000 ways that won't work. Heck, if all inventors of everything that we conveniently have today, didn't pursue and keep on trying to invent things, we might as well still be living in a cave (on a totally different note, thank you Steve Job for Apple! One of the most wonderful inventions ever created!).
I pondered to myself the whole day after the chiropractor session: have I been doing things the same way over and over again - and still expects the outcome to be different? Sadly, the answer is a big yes. Gosh, I am insane. No wonder I still have this back pain, I have been slouching for years. No wonder I still experience this, I have been doing that forever! Can anyone be more stubborn and crazier than me? I've been living in groundhog day, where every events seemed to repeat itself.
A good friend once told me that our problems in life basically is linked to ONE root. Either it is your past, your grudges to people, your ego, your dreams, your broken relationships, etc. That root will branch out and turn to our problems like: insecurities, revenge, arrogance, selfishness, hatred, negativity, infidelity, and many more. Just like how my chiropractor told me to fix my back pain with my posture and how I do things, we need to fix our problems by dissecting the root.
"Do you think you have been doing things the right way?" my chiropractor asked me. I said no and he said "Well, at least you're admitting that you've been wrong. That's a start." I learned today (what people have been trying to tell me all these years) that the first step to recovery is to admit that we have that 'root' - admitting that we have been wrong.
Once we do, we'll (hopefully) be doing things differently. Now, I don't expect myself or you to get things right the first time - but hey, the point is: we're learning. If it takes me 1000 different takes to get it right, I'll do it. There will be a time when I will finally have my 'Eureka!' moments. Life is a perpetual learning process. Most of the time it's about the journey, not the destination. Yada-yada-yada.
Easier said that done? You betcha. To cure this back pain, I have to start taking Yoga and Pilates for proper stretching. I have to buy a proper workstation, with proper chair. I have to go the the chiro twice a week. I have to remember not to slouch ever again (and actually do it). There's always a price to pay. But if those things are what it take to cure my back pain for good, I can't not do it, before the pain worsened.
I know I might seem like talking in circles now. I don't really know how to put this. I know I have to deal with some issues in my life - I haven't been dealing with them quite well these past years. Acted like an insane person because I kept doing the same thing, and expect that the outcome will be magically different. Yeah, keep on wishing like how I wish that we'll have a white Christmas here in Australia: NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I really enjoyed browsing through the internet. Mostly browsing through Facebook (don't we all?), Twitter-ing, iTunes store, Apple Store, Deviantart (for cool and unique desktop wallpapers - highly recommended) and random sites which I found interesting. I probably spend a good 4 hours in front of my macbook everyday (apart from office hours of course).
You see, my 'workstation' at home is a coffee table. It stands probably 40 cm in height, so I used a cushion as a 'chair' and slouch in front of my macbook. This has been going on for YEARS. Everyone knows that this isn't a good idea, especially for your posture. Thanks to my ignorant-self, I finally feel the result of too much slouching. Guess what, I'm still slouching now as I type this entry!
I have been having back pains now and then, and I've always been able to ignore it. Usually the pain stays for a few days, and then it was 'back to normal' (or so I thought). But my back pain took its toll last week, when I've been asked to help with archiving 28 boxes worth of documents in my office. I literally sat on the carpet for about 3 days; compiling, selecting, recording and what-nots; and also lifting up heavy boxes full of documents. All these I did while slouching.
I have never feel that much pain on my lower back before the 28 boxes happened. I felt like I pulled a muscle. My shoulders are very tense, my neck is really tight too. Also, I feel like my feet are dead, due to many hours sitting on the carpet. Not to mention, I feel my bottom slept for 3 whole days. The fact that I'm a side-sleeper doesn't help also, it actually made the pain worse. So today, I finally went to the chiropractor to get it checked out.
This is my first visit to the chiropractor. My little sister said that the word 'chiropractor' sounded like a dinosaur species (to think of it, it kinda does sound like 'velociraptor'). The doctor was really friendly and attentive. He examined my backbone and then he asked me whether I have ever been to a chiropractor before. I shook my head, and then he let a sigh and said "You've got back pains for years, young lady. You just chose to ignore it, didn't you?". Guilty as charged.
He explained to me on why he came to that conclusion. He poked around my shoulder, my neck and my lower back. And truly enough, every spot he poked feel sore. He asked me whether I want him to help me fix this problem. However he mentioned that this won't work like magic, where you can be fixed by just one visit. I have to do an x-ray for him, and then come back twice a week for a few months to get my back sorted out.
And then he said this "But, I can only help you by teaching you how to fix it. YOU have to be the one who fix it. Basically, your whole posture contributes to your back pain. How you do things, exercise you took, how you stand and sit, how you sleep, in short: you have to change everything on the way you do things." I told him on how I have a coffee table for years as my 'workstation'. He laughed and said "Well, that's it. You have to have a proper workstation. If you keep doing the same things you are doing now, guess what, you'll be having the same results."
As soon as he said that, I remembered a famous quote by Albert Einstein:
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results"
I pondered to myself the whole day after the chiropractor session: have I been doing things the same way over and over again - and still expects the outcome to be different? Sadly, the answer is a big yes. Gosh, I am insane. No wonder I still have this back pain, I have been slouching for years. No wonder I still experience this, I have been doing that forever! Can anyone be more stubborn and crazier than me? I've been living in groundhog day, where every events seemed to repeat itself.
A good friend once told me that our problems in life basically is linked to ONE root. Either it is your past, your grudges to people, your ego, your dreams, your broken relationships, etc. That root will branch out and turn to our problems like: insecurities, revenge, arrogance, selfishness, hatred, negativity, infidelity, and many more. Just like how my chiropractor told me to fix my back pain with my posture and how I do things, we need to fix our problems by dissecting the root.
"Do you think you have been doing things the right way?" my chiropractor asked me. I said no and he said "Well, at least you're admitting that you've been wrong. That's a start." I learned today (what people have been trying to tell me all these years) that the first step to recovery is to admit that we have that 'root' - admitting that we have been wrong.
Once we do, we'll (hopefully) be doing things differently. Now, I don't expect myself or you to get things right the first time - but hey, the point is: we're learning. If it takes me 1000 different takes to get it right, I'll do it. There will be a time when I will finally have my 'Eureka!' moments. Life is a perpetual learning process. Most of the time it's about the journey, not the destination. Yada-yada-yada.
Easier said that done? You betcha. To cure this back pain, I have to start taking Yoga and Pilates for proper stretching. I have to buy a proper workstation, with proper chair. I have to go the the chiro twice a week. I have to remember not to slouch ever again (and actually do it). There's always a price to pay. But if those things are what it take to cure my back pain for good, I can't not do it, before the pain worsened.
I know I might seem like talking in circles now. I don't really know how to put this. I know I have to deal with some issues in my life - I haven't been dealing with them quite well these past years. Acted like an insane person because I kept doing the same thing, and expect that the outcome will be magically different. Yeah, keep on wishing like how I wish that we'll have a white Christmas here in Australia: NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
So yeah, I will do those things to fix my back pain definitely, but I will also do things to fix the mental and spiritual pain. Talk differently, think differently, act differently. Bear with me, friends, as I'm sure I will make mistakes (and probably frustrates you as well). And I probably will need to read my own note to remind myself over and over again that it's okay to have 'trial and error' session in my life. After all, God's grace is sufficient for us - no matter how many times we messed up. Thank God for that, really.
I hope this makes sense! I seemed to have blabber a lot whenever I got so many things in mind :-) Thanks for being patient, this is one of the things I'm working on (amongst the 1001 other things!)
Stay beautiful, friends!
